Make a new decision. It’s okay.


Have you ever been a afraid of change?

Have you ever been afraid to consider a new possibility because you’ve invested too much in where you are now?

Have you lost so much in the past that the little you have seems really small?

MAKE A NEW (3).png

Your power is in your choice, you cannot decide what others do and how their decisions will affect your life, nor can you decide how your old decisions affect your life. you can only, in the present moment decide to make a new one.

So often we make a decision based on our perception of the past. We have this strange loyalty to the past and the things we’ve invested in. It’s usually our interpretation of something that happened yesterday that wants to keep the status quo because, well… it’s the status quo.

we are scared that our potential will disappoint our past.

Let’s illustrate this point with a little story!

MAKE A NEW (1).png

You plant this seed one day because people tell you it will give you what you need to survive. Your ancestors have been planting this same seed. And sure enough in times it sprouts and grows into this HUGE tree, it’s not the tree you’d hope for but it’s really big and gives you what you need to survive. IN FACT, IT’S ONE OF THE BIGGEST TREES IN TOWN AND YOUR QUITE PROUD OF IT. And after some many years walking by the by, one day you come across this stall selling seeds, it’s a new seed, one you didn’t know they sold here. But this seed is one that requires a lot of attention and care. You don’t know when exactly it will sprout but you do know that it could provide shelter to more than yourself, that it’s flowers are UNPARALLELED in beauty and have herbal benefits, that the wood from it’s branches are strong. But what about the tree you’ve been tending to your whole life? You’ve invested years of your life into this tree and it’s ONE OF BIGGEST TREES IN TOWN!

And this is the point in the story where you can make a

new decision

The truth is what you have gained with this tree or lost has nothing to do with this new decision you can make now.

To make a new decision you have to consider that you have a choice, and perceive the options before you.

Most of the time we want to keep doing what we’ve been doing because we’ve been doing it. It doesn’t occur to us that we can do something different based on the new information or options we have.

We can make decision when we know the choices available to us, when we know we are allowed to quit then we can make a free decision to quit or not to. When we feel our investments are holding us hostage, then the decision is not a free one because they don’t account for the present moment.

So many of us don’t know that we’re making decisions about the direction of our lives when we’re making them. We don’t know that there is a choice, and maybe even more choice than we thought, and that it’s okay to consider something new in light of new information.

You can decide to do something differently to the way you have been doing it, but most of the time we choose not to choose. We let short term worries, the opinions of people we don’t know, temporary feelings of fears decide for us.

We consult with the past and all it’s suffering, and we’d rather be cautious than courageous.

Let go, you don’t have to be loyal to the past. Learn from it and know that you’re allowed to let it go.

Embrace the possibility that this new decision may reveal something new.

Maybe you’ve met this couple who communicate to each other really lovingly, they listen to each other and pray about things they find difficult in their relationship. It’s never occurred to you that you’re relationship with your boyfriend/husband could look like that. You could continue to do what has seemed normal to you for so long and what some people may describe as ‘passionate’ or in light of new information you can take what you have and make a new decision.

Maybe there’s a new opportunity for work in another country you’ve always dreamed of living in but it would mean leaving your job of 10 years. This would be a completely new experience for you and there’s so much you would have to learn. You’ve spent years climbing the ranks to get to your current position. You could continue were you are or in light of new information you can take the skills you’ve gathered and make a new decision.

You can only make a decision based on what is available to you now.

Just because you’ve invested in it, doesn’t mean you have to continue investing in it.

And sometimes we’re so disappointed in what we have invested in that didn’t work out that we stay grieving and we don’t know how to take what remains and make a new decision.

MAKE A NEW (5).png

The problem sometimes boils down to how we feel people will feel about our decision. How do you tell people who have also invested in your first tree, that you want to make a new decision. What will they think? What will they say? And in this people pleasing mindset that we all recognise, a new question arises

Who are you a making a decision for?

The people you know, the people you don’t, family, friends, acquaintances, society? We all have people in our life we need to consider, but there is a difference between considering and pleasing.

In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.

Matthew 5:16

Be generous to yourself and allow yourself the possibility of something greater than what you’ve lost or even gained. We are all limited in some capacity, and choosing to make the best out of it by considering a new possibility without holding on to the old is key.

And when it seems like you’re making a decision for yourself, you’ll find you’re making a decision that glorifies God, when you strip away the pretence, the fear and live in alignment with your beliefs and values. You’ll be a light glorifying him in all that you do.

It might take a little faith, but the truth is no matter how much money, time, resources or energy you have invested, lost or gained the reality at the present moment is that there is a new seed, a new possibility.

MAKE A NEW (4).png

If you want to listen to the podcast episode by Seth Godin ‘Ignore sunk costs’ that inspired this blog post click here

And if you want to watch a facebook live chat by TD Jakes ‘Strengthen what remains’ that also inspired this blog click here

By Charlene Ogu